Rejuvenated Delight

Cast away unto an indifferent realm of tendency to the mean, a world plagued with mediocrity and dressed in frivolity. I despised mediocrity, I detested the banal and called forth the wrath of the mighty upon the superfluous. I valued myself at my competence, on what I had done on this accursed earth. I called out to myself, to knock some sense into me; And in that, I had deluded myself in my own misery. Sunken beneath the bitter gaze of the sadistic abyss, watching me oscillate into and out of meaning like a circus monkey. That is, I allowed myself to drift further, and take comfort in delusion. First, I saw a disillusioned woman, a genuine soul distraught at the sight of the evil nature of man. Then, I glimpsed a disenchanted glare of a woman drunk on the sight of her shadow reflected in her depths. But when I moved past your words and brushed against your soul, your tenderness was not frailty -- it was the grandeur of something ancient, a field you opened in which everything trembled. I caressed the ends of your being with a kiss, and felt a tender quiver; then witnessed as the world bent inward, listening. Because in that moment, your soul spoke in a language older than sound, and everything that could hear, did. In that moments delicate dance, there was not lust nor fear. As I pulled away, you grazed me with a gentle breath and our eyes met. I could never forget that look, the depth, the sheer weight. There was majesty in your undoing, a quiet coronation of the true you. The distraught soul rekindled, the disenchanted glare won back its bewitching gleam and sparkle. Your vulnerability had the scale of a cathedral emptied of prayer. And in your undoing, I glimpsed my own. And there it was, beneath all the striving, buried under delusion: the simple radiance of being. It asked for nothing, proved nothing, achieved nothing, yet it was everything. To exist was already to be worthy. I was, and that was enough. Your pale white skin, beautiful gemstones and perky little lips, they whispered ancient mystery to me. I couldn't look away. And as the days went by, I couldn't look away still, from that moment, it was perpetual. It felt like the world paled in comparison to the gentle release of everything. I had witnessed the divine undoing of a truly great woman, and in that moment, death itself didn't matter. In hurting you, I came to know the part of me that could feel remorse. And in that pain I found purpose, I found a real reason to strive, not out of pathetic delusion and miserable oscillation, but true, divine meaning. You're kind, smart, funny, beautiful; You strive to become better, grapple with goodness and bring light into your shadows. You're quite possibly the most amazing woman I'd ever met, and it would be nothing less of an honor to watch you live out your days from up close. Happy birthday Eva.